Latinitas - A Strong Voice for Latina Youth

What to do when you miss an ex boyfriend who wasn't right for you.

From one of our Latinitas:

"I was in a very stressful and unhealthy relationship for about a year it was really my first serious serious boyfriend. We would do everything with each other, he would come on my family vacations and my mom even got her a job in her office where he still works today. I have talked about it with my family and friends and I fully understand that it was a very good decision to end things with him. He was very controlling, no goals in life, party guy, and a compulsive liar.

Months and months have passed now and I just got a new boyfriend. He is the complete opposite, comes from a good well to do family, the most kind and caring person I have ever met and has huge career goals. Let's just say he's the perfect guy for me, no drama. 

The funny thing is that I sometimes find myself missing the ex, I know that I'll never go back to someone like that, but is it wrong to miss him?"

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Try not to hold on to something that doesn't exist anymore, that person you miss doesn't exist anymore, the person you were doesn't exist anymore.It's not wrong to miss something that once was, but don't dwell on it. People change, things we like and don't like aren't the same, we grow. We can wish for the past all day long but we are forever in the present, be present.

- I was tumbling through inspirational blogs and came up with that from some of the things I saw - which is probably why it's somewhat philosophical. Hope it helps

Don't look at the external (him) - look internal. What are you feeling about yourself that his bad treatment triggered.....give a little love to your self-esteem (do something for you - eating on time, getting more sleep, etc.) and he will slip out of the foreground and where he belongs, back into your past.

I dont think it is necessarily wrong to miss him. I think that as humans we develop relashionships with people that you cannot simply erase. I cannot completey forget someone to whom I was so close with like if it were nothing. I mean we even miss our dead pets sometimes. That may seem as a very bad analogy but my point is that no, we cannot erase memories and forget people easily but what we can do is focus on the future. Coming back to the past will not do us any good, if we live in our memories we will die. Focus on your present and your future. Believe in yourself and believe that you deserve the best. You are a beautiful young woman worthy of someone who will treat you as such. Have faith in yourself and have faith that better things await you. :)

It's not wrong to miss him, but always remember you did this for yourself!

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