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Bullying Issues Advice Column (Hollywood Camp 2015)

Ever since I had a new friend I have felt bad about not spending as much time with my old friends what should I do to not leave friends out?

  • Try asking her if she would like to hang out with you and your old friends. If she doesn't want to, and only wants to hang out with you, then ask her why she feels that way. Also let your old friends know that you want her to hang out with all of you. If both your old friends and your new friend don't want to hang out together, then set up times and days where you hang out with your new friend, then another day and time where you hang out with your old friends, that way no one gets left out. Make sure everyone gets equal time! :)  

During my two years in middle school this girl hated me; she made rumors about me, separated me from my friends and even threatened to fight me. She also made a video where she faced me up close and began to curse and make fun of me. I talked to my counselor but somehow that made things worse. Nobody in school liked me because of her. I’m desperate for help! I don’t know what to do?! These were my reactions when I saw her every time.

  • I had something similar happen to me in high school. A group of girls started teasing me just because they thought I was going after one of their boyfriends, when I really wasn't. I mean, he WAS my ex after all, haha. But my friends did not stop talking to me because of these bullies. They let me vent to them, then we laughed at how dumb they were, and we ignored them whenever we saw them. The best way to deal with these situations is to just ignore the girls. I know, you probably want to run up to them and say the meanest things and do horrible things to them, but the best way to stop a bully is to show them that they don't affect you. It's the hardest thing you'll have to do, but it'll make them look worse than they already do. They probably won't stop doing what they're doing, but they should back off at least a little bit. Whenever they see you or walk past you, just look through them or straight ahead, as if they weren't even thereIt'll drive them crazy. And remember, bullies don't just come from nowhere. There has to be something bothering these girls and making them insecure, or else they wouldn't be bullies. In other words, your life is probably a lot better than theirs, and they probably need more help than you do.  

I have a friend at school and she is always telling me what to do and she hurts other people too. What should I do? We were starting to be friends again but we were laughing in class so we got in trouble, when she left the class she went back and blamed it on me when I didn’t do anything so she told on me to the teacher. I told her that friends don’t do that and I said that I don’t want to be friends with her anymore.

  •  Tell her what she's doing and that you don't like being told what to do. If she is a true friend, she'll stop. But if she doesn't understand and gets mad, then you might want to reconsider who your friends are. If someone treats you a way you don't like, always tell them (in a nice way). No friendship is ever worth being treated badly. You are worth more than that.  

During my sophomore year I had a boyfriend and I started ditching school as well as bulling my best friend because I was mad at her.

  • I've had experience with boys, and let me tell you this: no boy is any good when he starts changing who you are. And you will never change who they are, no matter how hard you try. My ex was failing college when we first met, but he said he would try harder in school since I was very good at school. I believed him at first, but once I saw how he didn't take it seriously, even after 2 years, I realized he would never care about school like I did. When we broke up, I was so sad that it was over, and thought I did something wrong. It's been 7 months now, and I realized that I am a lot smarter than I thought I wasI "dumbed myself down" to make him feel better about himself, when I shouldn't have. Now, if you're mad at your friend, don't bully her. Talk to her calmly, and let her know WHY you're mad. Don't just be mean to people because you're mad, it will never change anything.  

I punched my cousin and I felt so bad the next morning I cried a little bit, but then I said sorry and we hugged. What should I have done instead of punching her?

  • For starters, WHY did you punch her in the first place? Were you mad? Or were you playing around? If you were mad, you should have walked away and taken deep breaths to relax before you went back to her. You never do anything nice when you're mad. Or if you were mad at something she did, you should have let her know that and talked it out. If you were playing, try to be gentle next time. 

What do I do when a girl way bigger than me threatens me? Something else other than tell her parents.

  • Whenever someone threatens you, it sometimes helps to ignore them. It can be a pretty hard thing to do, but it drives them crazy when they know they don't bother you. Another thing you should do is never be alone, especially if this happens at school. Always walk around with a group of friends, or in a crowd. Bullies don't like it when you're not alone. 

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