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Just recently, I have started dating a boy that I had talked to for awhile, and built a friendship with. Thanks to my inner shyness and introvertedness, I was hesitant to pursue the relationship. On top of that, I couldn't stop (and still can't) thinking about what couples do these days, and what it seems like girls are expected to do...and that scared me.

From observing my friends relationships, and from hearing about what couples did last weekend, I was intimidated into not even getting into relationships with boys. I have always thought ahead to when he'll want to go further and I will then have that pressure on me.

However, in my case I am very lucky. This is the first real relationship for both of us, so we are taking it slow, and enjoying getting to know eachother. Although I was nervous at first about what he was expecting of me, I have been learning that he is not the type to pressure me into anything that I do not want to do. Just the other night, we made plans to go see a movie. I was of course nervous because I have heard that people make out in the movie theater, and I didn't think I was ready for that with him. Instead, we enjoyed the movie, and just held hands : )

Mainly, I just wish that there weren't so many unspoken expectations for girls. I feel like when someone hears about her friend hooking up with someone, or doing things with her boyfriend (sometimes after very little time dating), it unintentionally sets up the expectation that all girls will do that. That makes it hard to establish how people, at least for me, want their own relationship to go.

What I have learned from all of this is that the right guy won't put any pressure on the girl, and will have a relationship based on their feelings and actions, not anyone else's! 

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Comment by Linda Maria Vasquez on April 21, 2013 at 6:39pm

I'm glad that you're happy with your relationship and that you're pacing yourselves the way you want to. Respect is a big key in a relationship. Don't compare yourself to the progress or relationships of your peers. People have different comfort zones and paces. Most of the time, people competing with each other may place them in uncomfortable situations. Discuss your relationship boundaries with your partner only and you'll be happy. If your partner refuses to respect you, pressures you in anyway or compares you to other people, ditch that person. You don't deserve that. 

Sounds like you've got it going really well with you guy right now and I hope it all works out for you. 


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