It's a month until classes are over and two more weeks after that until I walk across that stage. The closer my graduation gets, the more scared I get about "entering the real world." I've already started looking for jobs and trying to settle down in Austin. I knew I wanted to stay here after graduation, but I don't think my family understood quite well until now.
I spoke to my mom yesterday and I mentioned my post graduation plans. She responded with, "Well, I'm moving back to Mexico since you won't be coming back."
Ouch. That one hurt.
My mom is interpreting my graduation as a sign to move back to her hometown in Mexico, San Luis Potosi. She said that now that I'm really an adult now, there's no need to stick around if I won't be moving back to Laredo.
My post graduation decisions are affecting my family and I don't know if I'm being selfish. I want to stay in Austin and try to make a name for myself. I just didn't know that my choice would prompt my family to think that I am writing Laredo out of my life. I have never said that, but I also knew that I didn't want to go back to Laredo right out of college.
I think this is an example of my family's traditional values, always being close to home to help your family.
My family believes in helping each other out, despite anything. Although they're happy that I am graduating, I'm wondering if they believe I can make it in Austin.
I'm really conflicted about this. It's been a couple of years that my room back home has been taken over. My things are still there, but it's become more of my brother's room lately.
Do I even have a room to go back to?
No, I don't want to. Not yet. I want to step out of my student-comfort-zone and try being on my own, for real.
I also don't want to be reason my family moves away. That's worse.
Moving on from school, for now, is affecting my loved ones. I don't want it to, but that seems to be inevitable.
If I'm changing, they should be too if they want to. I don't want to be selfish. It's just tough to deal with.
Have you ever made a decision that not only affected you?