*Takes a deep breath before typing..*
It is junior year and I've been sitting here staring at the same page of my history text book for all of twenty minutes. I've only had a hard time turning the page since I've been stressing out. I want to get so much done that, sometimes I just can't do much of anything. Then again, college has also been on my mind. And if I'm going to be honest, the mere mention of the word college raises my stress level.
You still have a year, my momma says.
But having gone through two (and nearly three years in May) of college preparatory high school, I know that a year is not much, if anything at all. Because I know I have been working towards this for so long, I feel fear of making too many costly mistakes. The entire conversation on college applications makes me anxious. I don't feel ready. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I might fail. I don't know what I will do then.
Then again, all this thinking, I've realized is a bit pre-mature. It doesn't feel like it to any junior at my school though, go ahead and ask them. The anxiety feels way too close for my comfort. It's not like I can just hide from it either, none of us can. I just hate that so many of my classmates are stressed out, mostly because I can feel it.
No doubt junior year has taught me so much from: how to fill out physics worksheets in between nap breaks, review English literature devices in the car, run history timelines in my head while walking, and how to even summarize math lectures in the middle of brushing my teeth.
Our stress levels though seem to escalate everyday though even just at seventeen.
It's so easy to fall into thinking that stress is just something we can avoid by steering away from procrastination though. I think it's more than that.
It involves the way we go about thinking of things, just like it involves time management.
I over-think. And I let my mind race when I am already stressed. I am learning better though, every day I am a junior and everyday I get closer to being a high school senior. And being seventeen I'm trying to make sure that I don't spend too much time stressed.
Stressing more doesn't give many people time to work more.
Working more than stressing is always more productive.