Latinitas - A Strong Voice for Latina Youth

The X-Factor: Chapter II: "Daddy this is my BF"

Have I mentioned I was a big time feminist? IT might sound weird and extreme, but I was. Regarding guys I was a horrible person, I wouldn’t let anyone in my life, and as soon as something would get serious I would run away. There had been times when I couldn’t believe how much insecurity I had accumulated inside me. The truth it wasn’t my fault since I didn’t; wanted to break away from my fear of getting hurt and I had rather decided to juts close myself to any kind of feelings. I had broken several hearts in the past, which now I regret (but that’s another story). I remember when I used to see all of my friends and think to myself “How stupid are this girls to have boyfriends and actually have a relationship if being single was the best feeling in the world.  I couldn’t explain myself how girls could be dumb enough to fall in love and dedicate their entire lives to a guy. I really couldn’t believe how someone’s life could revolve in some other person… I just couldn’t explain it to myself! Who would of though that I would be one of them pretty soon! After all my beliefs, everything I thought about, every single norm that I lived and though I would leave by would change completely. The moment I met O it was like my heart, my soul, my mind and my body were completely different. I was another person… completely another person! I had accepted to be O’s GF on March just after one week from the day I met him. Everything had been perfect; I actually felt I was flying around the clouds. Every minute I was with him felt like the best minute of my life. Every single day we would talk, text, or chat and almost every day we would see each other (unless he had to work or I had to do school work). My life seemed perfect in every single angle and every single aspect. All my friends had met this guy and I it appeared to be like everybody loved him (little did I know what all this relationship was bringing in my way). My friends BF’s LP, MV, and HO seemed to get along perfectly with him. What did I love the most about this guy? The fact that he was not only a gentleman, and made me feel the way no one else had made me feel before, but also the way that he was able to get along with my friends and everyone around me. Weirdly enough this guy would give me a flower very single day a rose, an orchid, a lily, etc. OH IT WAS AMAZING! I’m a big sucker for flowers so it was just perfect! It felt amazing and if you think about it our love story started romantically and so out of a sudden, I can even say it was love at first sight. It was weird how I just felt he was my other half. As corny as it sounds, he was my soul mate and I was his. I had never felt so loved in my life, so accepted, so alive. Never in my life I had felt so important, so incredibly attractive and wanted! He had been able to change my impression of men in a 360-degree angle, and that was extremely difficult when it came to me. My friend’s would make fun of me and they would say I was totally in love, my proud side would make me say “NEVER”. On my mind I would always think to myself, ‘Am I in love?’, Does this guy has my heart already? How in the world did I let this happen?! About three weeks had passed (1 meeting the guy, 2 actually having a relationship) We were out I believe it was a Wednesday and we had just went to the movies and ate. We had gone out walked around the parking lot. The sky the weather and the night were just perfect. O seemed extremely nervous, which started to worry me… I was only wondering if he regrets his decision of being with me, if he wanted to end everything up, if he was tired of this. Have I done a bad decision in starting a relationship after only one week of meeting the guy!? Did I mess up in something? There were a thousands thoughts going trough my head, that many that I couldn’t keep up with my thoughts, my emotions, my fears. All of a sudden he has something to tell me… I TOTALLY freaked out! I wanted to start running and avoid whatever he had to say! I couldn’t move I was astonished, I wanted to move my legs, my hands,  y body… but it wasn’t responding to my command. He grabbed my hands kissed and said that he knew that it had been a short time together but that he really had something important to say… I waited and he just whispered, “I love you”… WOW! Wait! What?! I didn’t know how to feel about this, this guys was just going extremely fast. Yeah, I didn’t hear what I didn’t want to hear, but I didn’t really know what was exactly what I wanted to hear. I just stood there. I was in shock; I really didn’t know what to say how to express myself. Did I love this guy? Was this was I was feeling inside of me. O starts saying, “The fact that I said it doesn’t mean you have to say it as well.’ How was I supposed to know hat to say if I really don’t know what I was feeling he hugged me, kissed me in the forehead and said we had to go home. After complete silence in the car and my thoughts going over and over my mind… It was true! I was in love… how could I say it after remaining silent for so long?!  What if he stepped away from the relationship? I really didn’t know anything about relationships! I had been avoiding them for 17 years, and I certainly didn’t know what I was supposed to do or say now. I remained silent going over and over and over those three little words… ‘I LOVE YOU’… OMG it was just a very extreme phrase to say… I have said it before but it never felt like this before, this time around it was true… That weird feeling I had had over this time had only been love, I didn’t know how it really felt (of course I felt love for a lot of people, but it wasn’t this kind of love). This time around just felt different, I do not know hat I was thinking but when he stopped the car in front of my house I just turned kissed him and said… “I love you too”… WOW! Did those words had realy just came out of my mouth!? How could I AKT have let that even happen! Especially being the way I was!?... How was it even possible?! I felt much better when he smiled, our eyes locked together and hugged me. It was an amazing feeling; it just felt warm, welcoming, and safe. That is how the ‘I Love You Event’ happened. How would such words get me in such trouble?! I ha accepted to be his GF, I had spent most of my time with him or talking to him, and I had already said I love you, but there was a slight problem… my dad didn’t know f the existence of a ‘BF’. My mom had knew since I met him but my dad… my dad was another story! Meeting the parents is crucial specially when you come from a Hispanic background. Have I mentioned my dad had totally restricted me to have a BF till I would be 30?!... Yeah it was about to get very complicated to tell my dad that I had a BF! Several days have passed by and O and I would be together for a month already. Did I really had to tell my dad that I was dating someone? Was it that important to do? I mean after all he doesn’t really speak much to me, we have just few things to talk about (one of them being soccer). I decided to really talk to my mom and find out what was the best way to introduce my BF to my parents… (BF that word sounded so weird to me at that time, I was just not used of being WE). After a long pain and agonizing days I decided to finally do it… I was going to introduce O to my parents. I believe it was a Friday when we had gone to have dinner maybe we went to watch a movie?! I don’t really remember I was freaking out I didn’t really knew how my dad was going to react and how I needed to react. When I got home I let him in and then went to get my parents… my dad looked at me with a very penetrant vision. OMG! Was I freaking out? DEFENITELY!... they walk I see O he smiled… which made me feel incredibly secure. WE gathered and finally said: ‘Daddy, this is my BF”… Wondering what happened?!... Interestingly enough my dad was pretty good to him, absolutely nothing I expected from him, I do must recall though that he mentioned to O that he had to take care of his princess, that If he didn’t he would regret it. YEAH… it was pretty much a threat! But everything went great so far!! They seemed to like him; he was extremely secure of himself so he came up strong and independent. I couldn’t believe I had just introduced my BF to my family… oh! Because by the way… my brother met him that day too! He seemed pretty chilled I guess it’s me the one who actually take care of him not him of me!


I had just passed another text into the relationship, of course other than the ‘I love you event’… Long story huh? Well this is just the beginning, since this had been only the first month of our relationship!

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Comment by Sonia Rangel on June 24, 2011 at 5:11pm
wow, thing are moving so quickly here! :)




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